Plugging Along

If I don't get my other blog situated as I intend, it's going to drive me nuts! I need to create some charts and things to track my lab numbers. I've so many other detailed things to do and it's difficult for me to get motivated. Once I do, I'll get it done in one swoop. It's just one of those things where it takes a lot of set up. Who knows, I may end up with something real simple. At this stage in the game, I'm going to have to ask the nurse to fax me the information, as I didn't get it when I was there. My other blog is supposed to be full of more facts. This one is supposed to contain my health information, but if I want to go off on a spiritual or other type of rant, I'd rather have a separate blog for that type of thing, and not my healthblog.

I got my hair cut the other day. I may post some pics later.

I got to the barn yesterday and was able to fill a trough with water, spray some of the horses, feed them some grain (for fun), toss out some hay flakes, give them so treats (for fun), and give them some hugs and kisses (for fun). I'm up for a very traumatic good-bye when the time comes that I have to part with the Arabs.

I saw my new Family Care Physician today. She x-rayed my abdomen and thinks my bowels look fine. She said we'd see what the GI doctor wants to do about my sluggishness, but that I don't appear to be stopped up. She said it was OK for me to take the Miralax every day.

I was able to run several errands today, but I sure am having a difficult time walking. I still have a hard time remembering I can use the handicap parking place. Oh, I never don't use one, it's just that I'm already in the parking lot before I suddenly remember to look for an available handicap space. They are so convenient.

Dr. P. today said that I was on a very low dose of Lyrica for my neuropathy. I may ask the nurse to ask Dr. P if I can increase my dosage. I wouldn't mind a little more relief for my feet sensation.

Next appointments so far, unless the doctors arrange for further testing...which I suspect will happen:
7/23: neurologist
7/29: GI doctor
8/6: urologist
8/28: lab
9/4: oncologist

I truly am doing OK considering all that is going on. I somehow find great peace in my trust and faith in God. But I just don't have and never have had that wonderful "Tony Snow" attitude. Tony was the former White House Press Secretary who died just last week of colon cancer. He had the most positive and wonderful attitude. People tell me all of the time how inspiring I am to them and how wonderful my attitude is. I feel so unworthy of those compliments. I am no "Tony Snow". Until I can never complain one bit and that I can have that ear-to-ear smile every day like he did, I don't deserve those compliments.

I think what got to me more than anything, from what people said about Tony Snow. Several people said that he never said a bad thing about others . Even if I stopped today and never said a bad word about others, that can not be said about me when I die, because I've already done it. It doesn't sound right if they say, "Well, Cindy used to say bad things about others, but as of July 18th, she never said a bad word about others." I suppose it would be better than not having anything good to say! But it does make me reflect more about how I present myself.

I know my heart; I truly am a softy when it gets right down to it. But I sure use my tongue in unflattering ways. In a bible study we talked about what comes out of your tongue is what is in your heart. There's a bible verse that says that, I wish I could remember it...I will see if I can find my notes from that study.

But how true that is: what comes from our mouths is simply what is in our hearts . There's no way around that.

I'm finding myself having miner irritations lately. I don't know if I'm that much more physically uncomfortable, so I've become more grouchy and not giving others enough consideration. I find that when I don't feel good, I do get this way. Migraines mellow me out, but the other sort of pain and discomfort makes me grouchy. What is bad is that I don't realize I'm grouchy until I recognize that my thought process has changed and I'm having negative thoughts. I guess I do catch myself, usually anyway. I begin to get in the Word more. I'm at that point.

I intend to work harder, to try to humble myself more, to get back into the Word more. Gosh I wish I had the faith and guidance I have now...back when.