I'm Embarrassed and Full of It!

I was so uncomfortable and having difficulty breathing that I decided to go on to the ER. My sister, niece, and son came along. I'm so thankful for the love and support. I'm so blessed to have them.

Anyway, my bloodpressure was 201/100+. The lower number was either 112 or 128...I'm thinking 128. I'm telling you, I really do feel bad! They gave me something to lower my BP. I think it was 140 something over 90 something by the time I left about 4.5 hours later.

They ordered a CT Scan, so had me drink some Crystal Light stuff with some dye in it. This is horrible stuff, but it lightens everything up I guess. It was worth it for me if it meant I'd find the answer to this pain! Usually with a CT scan they also inject you with some dye, but for people like me with Multiple Myeloma (and there's another condition, I forget), they do not inject the contrast. It's something about proteins, clogging up in the kidneys and shutting the kidneys down. They assured me they'd still see anything in my lower abdomen area if there was any type of obstruction. I felt confident in them, that they were being thorough.

Know what I had? Oh my gosh this is embarrassing... I have GAS!!!!! YUP! I made my family spend 4.5 hours in the emergency room on a rainy Saturday afternoon, for MY GAS! Family makes a good point, though. They said, 'aren't you glad it's just gas and not a big cancerous tumor or something bad?" And yes, I guess I'd rather have gas than that. But still, I feel bad.... Doris called me later that night to tell me a couple of "gas stories" of others who've gone to the ER with gas pain, saying it felt like they were having a heart attack or something.

It's just that I'm really not usually the "ER" type of person. When I had a kidney stone in 1997, I waited until I was near or into shock so bad that I didn't even remember leaving home. I guess I was blacking out. When I was first sick with MM (and didn't know it of course), I lay around 2 days with a high fever. Oh well. I am sure that having MM and the things I've gone through since it that I do probably jump to conclusions a bit faster when I have wierd sensations in my body. Then I think living out in the country with no neighbors, I do probably get a bit fixated on discomforts and then began to panic.

But now I have an answer that makes sense. Oh, and speaking of the answer. The ER doctor (whom we all liked very much) said that he thought I was creating my own problem with gas by taking the Senna, Colace, and Miralax (and whatever) every day. Well, that great Dr. D insisted I take that much in order to have a BM every day. I was only following her directions.

I need to try to go as natural a possible. Fiber. Fresh fruit and vegetables, and so on. This ER doctor said that if I ever feel constipated, to just get that Fleets Phosphorus (or whatever it is) which is a little bit of this nasty salty stuff, but it will clean you out in a few hours and give you relief. What I was doing was messing me up, is the thought.

I still have the stomach pressure so far, though at least my mind is more at ease. Evidently there is some nerve damage going on still because I'm having increased numbness and yucky in my legs and feet - and that strong sensation of "sitting on something." BUT...in my mind at least I know there is not a blockage.

The strange thing is, the xrays that my oncologist's people took showed I had "no gas, but poop throughout my intestines, not moving along." So of course she ordered me Lactulose (which was horrible because it gave me more bloat & gas than I already had). I started taking the Senna, Colace, and Miralax again and probably just blew myself up.

So here's the other part of the strange thing: The ER at the C-hospital I went to yesterday said the CT Scan showed that I was FULL of gas, ready to pop around the room like a balloon, but that I didn't have any poop. I still have to wonder if as much comes out that goes in, but how do you measure that?

OH isn't my entries interesting? I never meant them to go to bowelmovements and gas, but they could be political? That would be worse, don't you think? :)

I'm horribly uncomfortable in this body. It's frightening to think that I will have to learn to live with it, like this, and for how long? But, I have to realize it could always be worse, that it can get better with God's grace, doctor's help, and my own better judgment in what I eat and injest. I know there's people worse off than me.

I need to stop complaining. I've read of too many ill people who never complained of their ailments and even went the other direction in saying that 'they felt wonderful.' Look at Tony Snow! He kept saying how each day was a new day. There are other's like Tony that had wonderful attitudes in the midst of pain. I hope before my time that I am handling this much more gracefully, because I'm not now. I appreciate the understanding, acceptance, and patience that my family and friends have given me. It has to get old hearing my whine.

A part of me wants to describe my condition, but I want to get through it positively and successfully, then hope that if someone else goes through something similar, that my experience would give them strength. But how could it if I whine about this so much?

Well, kids are here for church. That's it. I've got gas. Sheesh.