Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Happy 2011!

Happy New Year to whoever - to me!  I do intend to write on here more faithfully during 2011.  I've got to finish what I started, and that is to heal my self, my spirit, and my soul.  I can do only so much with healing this physical self.  I'm afraid I must accept this vessel as it is, but I can try to make the best of it.  My my spirit and my soul, however, can use some tender loving care

So, look out 2011, here I come!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Heal If You Will

Cancer wise, I'm doing fabulous.  I've still got Multiple Myeloma, but it's just 'there' in the shadows.  I don't understand how that works exactly.  I'm told it's just detectable, but the markers are in a zone that is considered normal.  Or at least doesn't require treatment.  I don't know if that is the reason I feel so fatigued yet?  Maybe that simmering wears me out?  I have no idea. 

My biggest challenge is the spinal cord damage that makes normal functioning - abnormal.  I might notice a little difference in my legs, weaker, more wobbly maybe?  But overall, I'm doing pretty darned good.  At least considering the irritations. 

I think a major reason I can say I'm doing fabulous is that I'm blessed enough to have some pretty wonderful family members and friends who love and support me.  Oh Lord, let me never take them for granted. 

There's two different lady's bible studies I do my best to attend weekly.  It makes a big difference to spend that time in the Word studying and preparing for the class as well as the time spent with my Sisters-in-Christ.  I'm more than thankful that I have this opportunity. 

The highlights of my life, other than God's continued surprises and blessings, is watching my children and their families grow up and grow close to God and to one another.  My prayers are being answered.  I always believed in God, but I lacked the personal relationship with him.  The relationship I have with God now would have saved my marriage many years ago.  I've always prayed that my boys wouldn't make the same mistakes their parents made, and it looks like they're on the right track.  Both the boys and their wives know Jesus; I couldn't ask for more.

Every Sunday my youngest and his wife and son visit.  We go to church, out to lunch, then visit a bit.   When I first got sick, I didn't even have the hope of a grandchild.  Once a grandchild came along, three years into my illness, I held slim hope of seeing him through toddler-hood.  Then the second grandchild came along.  I'm not thinking about those kinds of limitations so much any more.  On the other hand, I do miss being physically able to do some activities with the babies I'm now no longer able to do.  Much is lost with physical limitations--but I try to put more focus on what I still am capable of.  I've got more work to do on that.

Some might say I spend too much time on political blogs and news sources.  I'm more aware of what is going on in our government administration than ever before, partly because I have more time on my hands.  But a major part is because in the present day, America is in trouble.  For some time individuals favoring a more socialist and even communist-type government system have been organizing and boring into the insides of various vulnerable organizations in America.  They've infiltrated into various places such as our education systems, Universities with radical left professors, the media, the press, Hollywood, Congress, environmental organizations, even some churches, and more!  The Democratic party has been highjacked by the far left.  The greatest community organizer in recent history, Saul Alinsky, prepared the way.  He taught his techniques, documented them even until they were literally taught in certain universities and other places.  Barack Obama taught them and Hilary Clinton is documented as being an avid admirer of Alinsky.   Most of us have been preoccuppied with our own lives and too involved with our personal issues to even care about our government.  We trusted our government for the most part. This has been to our detriment, particularly to the detriment of our grandchildren's futures.

America is waking up.  I hope to share useful information when it presents itself.  I hope to learn to turn toward God more to handle this kind of worry.  God is in control and I am better off in remembering that.  Trust in God.  Trust God.  And pray for our leaders--especially the ones in place now.
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Sunday, August 1, 2010

A Tough Spiritual Walk When Walking Amongst Socialists

At the risk of sounding conspiratorial or like a doomsdayer,  it seems to me anyway, that our World is heading down that path of no return.  I wonder if prophecy is simply being fulfilled.  On second thought, of course it is, it always has been. 

Is it my more aged outlook on life or is corruption and anti-Jesus-sentiment  more prevalent all over the world than it's ever been?  I'm reminded of two instances in the Old Testament where God was fed up with man's abhorent ways: the first time when God destroyed the world by flooding because of man's sinful ways and Noah and his immediate family were saved.  The second time was when God destroyed Sodom and Gomorah because of their repeated vile actions.  But that was before Jesus was sent as the sacrificial lamb; that was before Jesus was sent in God's image to show us what God was like and give us a chance to know and accept Him as our Savior.

It's never been so hard for me to stay on track with with my spiritual journey as it is now.  Part of that is my fault because I'm not in the Word faithfully.  I know prayer and trusting in God is vital, but I want to do more than that. For now I pray and try to remind myself that God is always in control. 

I'm afraid of the anger that swells inside me when I realize the real agenda of the Progressives in our United States government.  I'm worried at how my children, although adults, are vulnerable to the propaganda this Socialist society has out there.  It's in our schools, in environmental and conservation organizations, and it's even in some religions and churches.  I never paid attention to these influences before for a variety of reasons: unaware, overwhelmed, too busy, distracted, not interested, naive, and probably more.  But now because I have more time and interest, I am more aware of the poison that is infecting our world. 

These Progressives are Socialists who believe in redistribution of wealth.  [Progressive is the new and more acceptable term for Socialist.] The most powerful and influencial ones are the financers or funders of organizations such as Center for American Progress (American Progress.org), the Liberal Progressive think tank.  The Center often writes a suggestion for what the Obama administration should do, and within days the White House fullfills its duty.  George Soros funds this Center quite generously, as I understand. 

There are over 80 Democratic and Independent representatives who are part of the Congressional Progressive Caucus. They once were openly part of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSAusa.org) but have now scrubbed any association of themselves from that site. Google  "Socialist" and see what Wikipedia provides.  It's very -G-rated.  They have turned a little more low-key as far as  promoting their Socialist agenda on the Internet so openly, with the current Obama-Socialist radical agenda.

For a laugh and demonstration how the Progressives try to avoid the use of the word "socialism" so they won't scare the naive citizen away, watch this video.  Notice how Ms. Waters accidentally says the dirty word, catches her self, stumbles for words, then gives up and admits the government's socialistic agenda of taking over the oil business.  Watch the expressions on the people's faces sitting next to Ms. Water's, they nearly bust out in laughter.  And while this scene draws giggles at the mishap of words, it's really not a laughing matter, not at all.

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Healing Prayers

Sunday evening my church held a prayer meeting. Those who wanted to be prayed upon and those who wanted to pray were to attend. A wonderful Sister-in-Christ asked me to go and said she'd pick me up. I think I initially went because I knew it'd mean so much to her. I'm so glad I did. I know she cares for me and prays for me, but I never realized just how much.

I have not used this blog as I created & intended to do so. My goal will be to make it happen. It has definitely been one heck of a journey and it is ashamed I haven't blogged about it. I think had I blogged about my journey in greater depth, I may be farther along right now. Better later than never, right?

My pastor, J and C all prayed over me. There were others needing prayer and several others praying over them. I pray to believe God and receive his love. Believe and receive. He can do anything and he can work miracles. God wants me healed.

I needed spiritual healing, too. It wasn't just about my cancer or my spinal damage; it was also about my being open to God, hearing him and knowing what He wants me to do. There must be a way I can better serve the Lord. I asked for this prayer and it was requested.

I've not been in the Word every day. Guilty. I know better. When I allow the door of distraction to open the least little bit, it's not long before that opening widens. At least I'm ready to close that door on distraction, but now I need to take action. I need to set a dedicated time aside each day for prayer & Scripture. Making my sleep/awake schedule right will be a good start.

Tomorrow I have my intrathecal pump refilled and my doseage increased. Next week I resume physical therapy (pt). I canceled it the last few weeks because the cold was getting to me and my legs have been stiff at times. I need to focus and get strong.

I was tempted to once again put off today and skip bible study, but I didn't. I attended and was so glad I did.

I've been going through some Soul Searching. I'm not sure I need to write about it, but I may share some thoughts in another entry. The current administration's trying to shove this healthcare bill down our throats is upsetting. The partisan tactics and remarks are intolerable. It's wrong. But there's a way Jesus would have be react and respond. I'm praying about this.

I need to think of a personal closing for my entries. Give me some time to think about one.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Pride Is Like Bad Breath

"Pride is like bad breath: everyone knows you have it but you." [author unknown]

Like a big smarty pants, I've put this quote on my other blogs, too. I heard it on a Sunday morning service. I didn't know of the minister, but he preached a good sermon. This quote caught my attention. The more I thought about it, the more I related.

I never thought of myself as being too prideful. I know there have been times when I said things I didn't mean, I had the last word, or I didn't make a connection at all. But I told myself that those times didn't happen too often, and besides, somehow it wasn't my fault things turned out the way they did. And, hadn't I apologized and really meant it several times? Hadn't I told others I cared? Surely I don't have a problem with pride?

But I do. I hate to admit it, but I do have issues with pride. I'm more prideful than others realize. And what shakes me up the most, I'm more prideful than I even realized! Yikes!

Just listening to that TV Minister this morning told me something that I need to pray about and be more conscious of.

It is important to attend church or at least listen to services on TV if one can't get out. God speaks to us in various ways. He spoke to me today. Thank you, dear Lord.

Monday, February 15, 2010

One Step At a Time

Sis offered to take me to my physical therapy today and I glady accepted the favor. Joy is so very thoughtful and supportive of me. I'm blessed for that. She brings a book and just reads while I do my thing.

Speaking of physical therapy, I did well today. Woody said I have improved a bunch. That is encouraging. One thing he said to me which stuck in my mind and gave me hope. He said that as long as you can move it, that you can strengthen it. When my legs feel so heavy, it helps to remind myself that I can make them stronger.

Today was Claire's grooming day at Doggie Day Spa. She is always so tired after her beauty treatment. As soon as the weather gets warmer and I feel up to it, I'm going to have the vet check her teeth and possibly have them cleaned. They are yucky.

We stopped by the grocery store today and I loaded up on lots of vegetables.

I did not return some phone calls last week and I feel bad. One of my dear friends I've known since grade school called me. I did not return her call because I've just been too tired to really talk. I feel bad as her mom has been very ill and in the hospital. I will get in touch with her this week. I need strength to be there for my friends. She and her mother are dear to me.